Stuck relationships I see around bother me especially when someone I know and love are in one. How often have you been upset because your partner simply doesn’t get you? You wait thinking that there will be a moment of realization, a moment where the counter person would do something amazing. Something to make you feel good and make the relationship worthy to be in. And the only reason you “wait” for it without complaining is because you don’t want that person to do something for you after being told to do so. The entire romantic, understanding and sensitive part just drifts away from the scene when people do something for you not because they felt you are worthy of doing that for but because you gave them a hint that they’re not being attentive at all!
If you’re in a relationship where your partner doesn’t get you enough of what you want emotionally then think! And if you’ve been thinking of breaking up but are unable to make a move because you already gave in too much emotionally for that person, then perhaps it’s the time now for you to breathe, look around and analyze! And if something seems correct to do, and you’ve been feeling it for a while too then do it.
Very often we don’t try to understand what we’re in for. We give in to our temptations and end up in the wrong place. Temptations, desperation of having someone by our side faded with time but our decision has still stuck around! The person we admired once has just become an everyday face for us now.
A very simple fact to understand is that Love is not about feeling pleasurable, happy and euphoric for yourself. It’s not just about deriving happiness for you. “It’s an art of giving!” If you’re happy in your relationship then it’s all because of your partner but if your partner isn’t happy with the relationship then maybe you need to analyze. And in this place, as I said in the earlier post, love is conditional and it should be, because otherwise it would be toxic!
I read somewhere that it’s a healthy relationship when both the partners secretly think that they got a better deal! But what if they take it for granted because they “already” got the deal?
If your partner isn’t sure about you in public, isn’t giving you as much as you put in a relationship then wait and take a look. If you feel like keeping your original side out from your partner then think if you’re in the right place or not. Rather take control of things before they magnify in a big emotional mess. Emotions are a part of our nature and running away from them just lets them accumulate and magnify to haunt us back with even more force! Face them.
And if you aren’t happy but are holding the step back because of fear of speaking and the fear of post break up “What ifs?” then just know, if you don’t make a decision to separate now then sometime in life you’ll break up with the same person. But, by then you’ll loose all these years you could spend happily introspecting! If you do it now, you’ll be happier later. And it’s better to be anything than being stuck with someone emotionally for technically non valid reason!
And don’t be too worried about what your now-partner would have to go through emotionally. Love is an art of mutual giving and if you aren’t happy then you’d be unable to give it to your partner too! It will as such go down gradually and become an everyday sad story. It’s better to sit and talk things out like a pro than keep your partner in a false notion that you’re happy with everything in the relationship. “Set him/her free by liberating yourself!”
© 2018 Lifemerized (Andy). Rights reserved to the author.