So today I put up a quote on my instagram page which read, “Don’t base your goals on someone else’s benchmarks.” Now this came to my mind very naturally because I’ve been through experiences which made me believe that!
It’s just about how we paralyze ourselves at times when we take up a new venture that we need to check if we’re doing good enough to rise and measure up to the benchmarks set by others! This just comes across and sounds like we just snatched our own freedom to live and create as we want.
We’ve got into a place where we’re so busy that we don’t want to create our own benchmarks. We don’t seem to be happy with our own work, there’s self doubt about so many things! And the more and more we do this, we don’t just take away our chance to be ‘us’ but also make ourselves lazy to ever measure up to the standards we’re capable of creating!
Everything starts with loving yourself and accepting you for what you are. Once you know what person you’re, you just don’t need to care about what the world has to say and it’s easy to learn the “art of being shameless!” Our minds are being shaped in such materialistic ways that most of our happiness is derived from the people around, from the material things around and we tend to forget that we’re the real creators of our happiness. Real controllers of our feelings!
It happens so often that you want to do something, maybe go to a new place for a trip or just check out that new café across the lane and you ring up your friends to plan this all out. And some person doesn’t wish to do what you are planning, now this just sends an unwishful vibe to all others involved and the plan which started with excitement and hopes of having fun for you is dissolved! This upsets you. But, the thing here is, it was YOUR wish, it was supposed to make YOU happy and was YOUR plan hence why should someone else randomly have the liberty to destroy it?
This is a very small example but this is how things go around in the big picture too. Just relate. More often than not, we base our goals of achieving happiness or whatever we want on the people surrounding us! You’re so whole in yourself and your happiness is your creation! Don’t let anyone else decide how it goes. Dependency on the crowd around you for your happiness is a petty thing to do. Get independent. Find your happiness. The day you stop waiting for people to do something to make you happy would be the day you finally start accepting yourself! And this in no way means that you shouldn’t appreciate if anyone does something for. You should certainly do it but never wait for it.
You’re capable of making yourself feel good and you’re whole of a person with all your thoughts and uniqueness. Make your existence matter to you and believe me, you’d see life in a completely liberated way!
If you have to run to people, wait for their approval and base what you wish to do on their verdict then you’re just in a phase of life where you’re unable to understand that your own existence is adequate to keep you going in a wonderful way.
People around you, things around you on which you might base your happiness on are external! You can own them, control them but what you want emotionally is from within, it’s about you and that’s something that shouldn’t be affected by all those external things which you can own.
So this time if someone sends unwishful vibes about what you planned then just get on that alone. Go to that place by yourself, discover the things which you couldn’t have otherwise been able to discover in a group. Find a way to live for yourself first, get on that journey to know who you are as a human being. And if you think that doing things alone can’t be fun then just know, if you’re alone you’re comfortable with your own company. You’re in company of the one who knows you better than the rest. Depending on anything or anyone for whatever you wish to do will just not let what you wish happen half of the time! Get in the driver seat and hit the right lane within you!
Did you want to go to that café? Well, then go! Most of the time people will follow if you initiate and if they don’t, who cares? A wonderful company of a person like you is all could ask for that day!
© 2018 Lifemerized (Andy). Rights reserved to the author.